Well, today's the day.  First day on NutriSystem.  Why is this such a big deal?  

I've always had a bit of a fight with my weight, no matter how active I am.  Even when I was 15, I carried about 15 pounds more than I should.  Mostly from poor eating habits, I'm guessing.  But when I started studying karate, I burned it off and weighed about 125 for most of high school.

But by the time I was 33, add 3 kids, not losing the pregnancy weight, throw in a divorce, layoff, and losing my house -- and you have me topping the scales at 245 when I'm only 5'4 1/2" tall.  Depression, inactivity (I had quit karate at age 23 - no time!), poor eating - a constant cycle of building fat and losing muscle.

That was over ten years ago.  I turned to a high protein, low carb  eating plan, and in 18 months I was down to 142.  I didn't really exercise that much at that point.  I didn't lose quickly, maybe 5 pounds a month.  But it happened.  When I remarried my wonderful husband, I was back into a bikini for our honeymoon in the Florida Keys.

Little by little, though, it creeped back.  My marriage took some pretty heavy hits the first few years (dealing with ex's and kids) and depression raised its ugly head again.  I don't know why, but I eat to soothe myself.  In two years, I'd gained 30 pounds.  Now, almost 8 years later, I'm back up to 227.  Even though I started martial arts again 5 years ago, I'm not training enough to handle the calories I eat. 

Oh, I am a master at blaming, justifying, and rationalizing.  "It's peri-menopause."  "It's the depression."  "It's my Celtic genetics."  "I'm big-boned."  "It's inevitable."  I blamed everything possible - and some of these factors do play into the situation.  But, the bottom line is - I eat too much of the wrong things and I still don't get enough exercise on a daily basis.  So, I'm setting out to correct not only my weight, but my health and my mindset.

I am a people-person, so I invite you to share my journey - I'd love to have you with me as redefining yourself can be scary and lonely.